Understanding Grandparent Custody Durham NC Seniors Face

By Amy Morgan


When grown children leave the house most parents assume they will begin their own lives, choose a partner, and hopefully provide grandchildren. Not all seniors anticipate that they may have to face the harsh reality of raising their children's children. Instead of having the freedom of spoiling little ones and then returning them to the parents, they have become the ones charged with disciplining, feeding, clothing, and nurturing another generation. In Durham, NC when they attempt to get official grandparent custody Durham NC seniors often face serious obstacles.

It is not unusual for the older generation to think they know more about rearing children than their own children do. They can offer unsolicited advice, but should avoid criticism unless they want to risk restricted access to their grandchildren. Actually trying to take those children from the parents is difficult and can be almost impossible. Courts and family services side with the parents if at all possible.

You might assume drug abuse on the parent's part would be enough to separate children from their parents, but in many states that is not true. In some states a drug addicted mother of an unborn child can be charged with child abuse, but once the child is born, involving the child in drug activity may be the only thing in this situation that constitutes abuse.

The most common way grandparents end up raising their grandchildren is by parents giving over authority. Sometimes the mother or father will drop off their children with the grandparents and disappear. Other times children spend more and more time with their grandparents until they are actually living with them full time.

It may be that the parent is forced out their children's lives because of death or incarceration. If this happens, the grandparents can seek formal guardianship or remain as the primary caregivers through an informal arrangement. There will have to be some papers and forms filled out and filed though to make sure the adults can make educational and medical decisions for the minors.

Grandparents determined to get legal guardianship of their grandchildren often have a difficult time convincing the court they should have custodial care. They have more influence with a judge if they have already taken primary responsibility of the minors because the parents have abandoned their rights, have been proven abusive, or have been convicted of a serious crime. Grandparents will also have to prove granting them guardianship is in the best interest of the children.

Grandparents sometimes get very upset when, after they have been awarded custodial rights by the court, one or both of the parents return and want their children back. Seniors sometimes mistakenly assume legal guardianship gives them the same claim to the children as adoption would, but that is incorrect. If parents can convince the courts they are stable and have overcome their difficulties, guardianship is often returned to them.

Family emotions can run high when children are involved. Relatives don't always agree on what is in their best interest. When grandparents try to prove they are a better choice than a parent, the courts may or may not agree.




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