Stories are the essence of humanity; they help us make sense of the world, and make it a more interesting place to live. We are going to use them to make your online dating profile more effective and memorable.
Many profiles seem to be simply a list of words and examples, and as such are not memorable - simply blending in with the hundred others you've read in the last hour. Creating a story lifts it out of obscurity. Psychological research indicates that one of the most successful mnemonic devices for memorising a list of abstract words is to create a story. You can pick any list of words, and if you just try to learn them by rote you won't be nearly as successful as if you can connect them into a story.
Tricks Of The Trade
If you want to stand out and be remembered you need to tell a good story. Your brand is all about presenting what would otherwise be a random collection of attributes, experiences and interests as an integrated story. A story will appeal to your reader and make them feel a deeper connection to you because you make more sense to them. It also helps them to remember you after they're offline.
Storytelling tricks of writers:
1. Show, don't tell. Don't force information onto the reader, but let them experience it and draw their own conclusions. If you want someone to think you're intelligent for example, writing in your profile 'I am intelligent' is nowhere near as effective as 'my university paper on the themes of women's liberation in Jane Eyre was published in a leading academic journal'.
2. Structure. Good stories have structure, meaning that they have a beginning, middle and an end. The structure reinforces the purpose of the story. We expect there to be order. Despite the dissected nature of the online profile - height over here, movies over there, photo in the top right hand corner - there still needs to be structure within it all. It should have an introduction, main body and conclusion. The intro is a nice summary of your main points, the body goes through each point and gives examples, and the conclusion reinforces the points and leaves the reader with something to think about.
3. Focus. Remove extraneous pieces of information from the story. We don't find out that Little Red Riding Hood also visited the baker on Tuesdays, unless this would be important knowledge to the story. I know it feels like there are a hundred and one things to cover while writing a profile, but you should use the brand that you want to portray to ensure that you're focusing on the important parts.
4. The hook. You need a hook to grab them at the beginning. The first line of a book is always the most important, and hardest to write. It needs to introduce the flavour of the book, as well as sucking the audience in. If the first line isn't interesting, most people won't keep reading. The same goes for your profile, which we will discuss more under Creating Your Tagline.
5. Find your voice. The way you say something is just as important as what you say. Your word choice indicates a lot about you, and taking time to find the right word can make the difference between a boring or fascinating story. It also says a lot about who you're portraying. For example, using a lot of slang might undercut your assertion that you are educated and cultured. But similarly, using a lot of highbrow words will conflict with your image of being a down-to-earth, nice guy.
6. Pacing. The punctuation and words you use can have a physical effect on your reader. If you increase the pace of your writing, the reader will start breathing faster, getting more excited and have more adrenaline pumping through their body. If you slow the pacing you can soothe them, help them relax (occasionally send them to sleep). Therefore, you want to pick the pacing for your free writing section that mirrors your branding. If you are aiming for cultured and refined, a slower pace would be more appropriate. If you are going for adventurous and sporty, then you want a faster pace. So, how do you get these different paces? Two simple tricks you can use are punctuation and word choice. More full stops and shorter words with sharp consonants will give a faster pace. Or, more commas and longer words with long vowels will give a slower pace. It's pretty simple once it's pointed out, and you might have been doing it subconsciously in places. However, now you can make your writing more consistent and fix it if you need to.
Keeping those tricks in mind, start constructing a memorable story of a profile!
Many profiles seem to be simply a list of words and examples, and as such are not memorable - simply blending in with the hundred others you've read in the last hour. Creating a story lifts it out of obscurity. Psychological research indicates that one of the most successful mnemonic devices for memorising a list of abstract words is to create a story. You can pick any list of words, and if you just try to learn them by rote you won't be nearly as successful as if you can connect them into a story.
Tricks Of The Trade
If you want to stand out and be remembered you need to tell a good story. Your brand is all about presenting what would otherwise be a random collection of attributes, experiences and interests as an integrated story. A story will appeal to your reader and make them feel a deeper connection to you because you make more sense to them. It also helps them to remember you after they're offline.
Storytelling tricks of writers:
1. Show, don't tell. Don't force information onto the reader, but let them experience it and draw their own conclusions. If you want someone to think you're intelligent for example, writing in your profile 'I am intelligent' is nowhere near as effective as 'my university paper on the themes of women's liberation in Jane Eyre was published in a leading academic journal'.
2. Structure. Good stories have structure, meaning that they have a beginning, middle and an end. The structure reinforces the purpose of the story. We expect there to be order. Despite the dissected nature of the online profile - height over here, movies over there, photo in the top right hand corner - there still needs to be structure within it all. It should have an introduction, main body and conclusion. The intro is a nice summary of your main points, the body goes through each point and gives examples, and the conclusion reinforces the points and leaves the reader with something to think about.
3. Focus. Remove extraneous pieces of information from the story. We don't find out that Little Red Riding Hood also visited the baker on Tuesdays, unless this would be important knowledge to the story. I know it feels like there are a hundred and one things to cover while writing a profile, but you should use the brand that you want to portray to ensure that you're focusing on the important parts.
4. The hook. You need a hook to grab them at the beginning. The first line of a book is always the most important, and hardest to write. It needs to introduce the flavour of the book, as well as sucking the audience in. If the first line isn't interesting, most people won't keep reading. The same goes for your profile, which we will discuss more under Creating Your Tagline.
5. Find your voice. The way you say something is just as important as what you say. Your word choice indicates a lot about you, and taking time to find the right word can make the difference between a boring or fascinating story. It also says a lot about who you're portraying. For example, using a lot of slang might undercut your assertion that you are educated and cultured. But similarly, using a lot of highbrow words will conflict with your image of being a down-to-earth, nice guy.
6. Pacing. The punctuation and words you use can have a physical effect on your reader. If you increase the pace of your writing, the reader will start breathing faster, getting more excited and have more adrenaline pumping through their body. If you slow the pacing you can soothe them, help them relax (occasionally send them to sleep). Therefore, you want to pick the pacing for your free writing section that mirrors your branding. If you are aiming for cultured and refined, a slower pace would be more appropriate. If you are going for adventurous and sporty, then you want a faster pace. So, how do you get these different paces? Two simple tricks you can use are punctuation and word choice. More full stops and shorter words with sharp consonants will give a faster pace. Or, more commas and longer words with long vowels will give a slower pace. It's pretty simple once it's pointed out, and you might have been doing it subconsciously in places. However, now you can make your writing more consistent and fix it if you need to.
Keeping those tricks in mind, start constructing a memorable story of a profile!
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Want more advice on writing well? Check out Buffy Greentree's website 100 first drafts
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