When people discuss marriage dissolution, they most often do so from the woman's vantage point. There is a great deal of time and effort expended on understanding the negative effects divorces can have on wives, but very little mention of the repercussions for men. This shouldn't come as a surprise, since there are many very cultural and societal reasons that explain the lack of attention given to the male perspective on divorce.
Most men learned at an early age that men are expected to keep their feelings inside. Society has ways of making men feel inferior when they discuss emotional issues, so most avoid any serious discussions of that nature with their other male friends. That leads to them internalizing their sadness. Because of male silence on the matter, society has falsely come to believe that divorces impact men far less than they impact women. It's not at all true.
The simple fact is that divorces leave men with feelings of failure, which is one of the hardest emotional issues for any man to confront. This is worsened by the general tendency of society to define men by their accomplishments. Because of that outlook, men lose self-respect when they fail at almost anything, and the biggest failure most people can ever experience is the failure of the marriage union.
As the marriage completely disintegrates, men can lose an identity that often centers around their chief role as the husband in a happy union. That role often provides the central focus of many men's identities, even when they have great careers or other interests. The loss of that marital role can send men scrambling to discover exactly what their identity is without the easy definition provided by marriage.
Fathers can have an even worse struggle. Often times, court proceedings end with the children's primary care being handed over to the mother. This can reduce many fathers' involvement with their children, causing those relationships to deteriorate. As their paternal emotional needs are left unfulfilled, these men can become angry and grief-stricken.
The problem with that grief is that most men struggle to properly deal with those feelings. While women are adept at sharing their feelings with their female friends and family member, many men fear that they'll appear weak if they express themselves in that manner. As a result, they often bottle up their emotions, or turn to alcohol or other risky behavior as a way to cope with emotions they don't fully understand.
That path often leads to depression. And regardless of how severe that depression might be, t almost always leads to isolation from friends and family. Sometimes, depression can become so intense that men suffer from headaches, hypertension, or other ailments. Worst of all, most men end up enduring these travails all by themselves.
For many years, society has focused on how divorces impact women, and paid little attention to men. The struggles of those men to rebuild their lives in the wake of marital catastrophe will continue until society at last recognizes the grief men experience and finally affords them the understanding they deserve.
Most men learned at an early age that men are expected to keep their feelings inside. Society has ways of making men feel inferior when they discuss emotional issues, so most avoid any serious discussions of that nature with their other male friends. That leads to them internalizing their sadness. Because of male silence on the matter, society has falsely come to believe that divorces impact men far less than they impact women. It's not at all true.
The simple fact is that divorces leave men with feelings of failure, which is one of the hardest emotional issues for any man to confront. This is worsened by the general tendency of society to define men by their accomplishments. Because of that outlook, men lose self-respect when they fail at almost anything, and the biggest failure most people can ever experience is the failure of the marriage union.
As the marriage completely disintegrates, men can lose an identity that often centers around their chief role as the husband in a happy union. That role often provides the central focus of many men's identities, even when they have great careers or other interests. The loss of that marital role can send men scrambling to discover exactly what their identity is without the easy definition provided by marriage.
Fathers can have an even worse struggle. Often times, court proceedings end with the children's primary care being handed over to the mother. This can reduce many fathers' involvement with their children, causing those relationships to deteriorate. As their paternal emotional needs are left unfulfilled, these men can become angry and grief-stricken.
The problem with that grief is that most men struggle to properly deal with those feelings. While women are adept at sharing their feelings with their female friends and family member, many men fear that they'll appear weak if they express themselves in that manner. As a result, they often bottle up their emotions, or turn to alcohol or other risky behavior as a way to cope with emotions they don't fully understand.
That path often leads to depression. And regardless of how severe that depression might be, t almost always leads to isolation from friends and family. Sometimes, depression can become so intense that men suffer from headaches, hypertension, or other ailments. Worst of all, most men end up enduring these travails all by themselves.
For many years, society has focused on how divorces impact women, and paid little attention to men. The struggles of those men to rebuild their lives in the wake of marital catastrophe will continue until society at last recognizes the grief men experience and finally affords them the understanding they deserve.
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Our online posts reveal the most honest male perspective on divorce and how it is perceived by men. To read the blog now, go to http://amiasexaddictinc.com.
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