The emotional pain and torment of a breakup can be difficult on even the toughest guys. You would probably prefer physical pain over what you may be going through. At least you would have some sort of idea of how quickly you would heal and a doctor could tell you what to do to speed the process. The torment comes from knowing exactly what will end your pain. If your girlfriend or wife would simply give you a second chance then the path to healing would be simple. You would have something to do. You would have a goal and you would come up with a plan to bring the two of you back together again.
Now, it doesn't matter if we're talking about your wife or your girlfriend. The pain from a breakup and the way that women behave in either relationship is exactly the same. A piece of paper and sworn oaths have been proven in today's society to carry as much weight as the paper they're written on. The process of getting from being broken up to getting back together are also the same. The process or stages that we're going to talk about will bring you to the point where you will have that opportunity to rebuild your relationship and it is based upon military principles. If these principles can get a combat veteran through a difficult time emotionally then they can bring you through your pain as well.
Initially, you might want to grieve or mourn the death of your relationship. This is understandable and encouraged. Set aside some time to be upset, angry, hurt and emotional about your breakup. Don't let yourself dwell too long upon these emotions and set a time limit on this grieving process. Once you have grieved for a day or so, you are going to debrief. You are going to give yourself a factual account of what happened in your relationship. You will remember what went well and what went wrong. You will recount what you did wrong as well as what your ex did wrong. You will remember moments when you felt that you had seen progress in the right direction and you're going to do all of this without emotion or judgement. Throughout this process, you are going to put everything in the past and put it to rest.
Putting events of the past where they belong is important. Often we try to fix things by reliving the past. We mourn the loss and beat our self up wishing that we had done things differently. We can't go back. We can only go forward. There should be a certain freedom that you will feel once you decompress and debrief from what happened. There's nothing you can do about the past other than to make sure that you don't make the same mistakes again.
Next comes the rebuilding process. There should be rest and relaxation after you go through a stressful situation. It is time to celebrate that you survived what you went through. You will live to fight another day. You will get your second chance but only once you have regained your strength and and you have a positive attitude. You might have to blow off a little steam first. This means doing things that will make you happy.
While many soldier go a little crazy and begin drinking like fish, you might want to avoid alcohol for the moment. It might be tempting to party hardy but this kind of activity can sometimes cause even the strongest man to fall back into old patterns of behavior. A moment of weakness might cause you to call your ex and proclaim your undying love for her or even want to see her again so you can tell her how much better you're feeling. Avoid this temptation at all cost. This is not the time to see your girlfriend and you should be strong and of sober mind when that moment does come. You need to have your life together completely before initiating contact with your ex. Get out of town or visit friends for a weekend. Go to the shore or to another city to allow yourself to unwind and decompress. This might help you to avoid the desire to see your ex also.
When you return home, it's time to start getting back into shape mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to start taking care of yourself and training for your big comeback. It's time to education yourself about relationships and how women behave in relationships. Look at this as your training to get back in there and win your ex girlfriend or wife back. Learn about her, what makes her tick and why she reacts the way that she does when she's in a relationship. Women behave much differently than men. They are emotional. Men are logical. Train that logical part of your brain to target her emotions and you will be well on your way to winning her back.
At this moment right now, you might still feel emotional and doubtful that she is every going to come back. That's fine. This is to be expected. You're still in an emotional state. Once you begin to feel better and you regain your self-confidence, you will understand that getting your girlfriend or wife to fall in love with you again isn't very difficult. If you are able to focus on her emotions while appearing strong and confident, she will fall in love with you again for sure. Remember that you're the man in the relationship and that she wants you to be the man. Avoid the temptation of letting your own emotions play a role in your decision making process and you will find that getting her back isn't very difficult at all.
Now, it doesn't matter if we're talking about your wife or your girlfriend. The pain from a breakup and the way that women behave in either relationship is exactly the same. A piece of paper and sworn oaths have been proven in today's society to carry as much weight as the paper they're written on. The process of getting from being broken up to getting back together are also the same. The process or stages that we're going to talk about will bring you to the point where you will have that opportunity to rebuild your relationship and it is based upon military principles. If these principles can get a combat veteran through a difficult time emotionally then they can bring you through your pain as well.
Initially, you might want to grieve or mourn the death of your relationship. This is understandable and encouraged. Set aside some time to be upset, angry, hurt and emotional about your breakup. Don't let yourself dwell too long upon these emotions and set a time limit on this grieving process. Once you have grieved for a day or so, you are going to debrief. You are going to give yourself a factual account of what happened in your relationship. You will remember what went well and what went wrong. You will recount what you did wrong as well as what your ex did wrong. You will remember moments when you felt that you had seen progress in the right direction and you're going to do all of this without emotion or judgement. Throughout this process, you are going to put everything in the past and put it to rest.
Putting events of the past where they belong is important. Often we try to fix things by reliving the past. We mourn the loss and beat our self up wishing that we had done things differently. We can't go back. We can only go forward. There should be a certain freedom that you will feel once you decompress and debrief from what happened. There's nothing you can do about the past other than to make sure that you don't make the same mistakes again.
Next comes the rebuilding process. There should be rest and relaxation after you go through a stressful situation. It is time to celebrate that you survived what you went through. You will live to fight another day. You will get your second chance but only once you have regained your strength and and you have a positive attitude. You might have to blow off a little steam first. This means doing things that will make you happy.
While many soldier go a little crazy and begin drinking like fish, you might want to avoid alcohol for the moment. It might be tempting to party hardy but this kind of activity can sometimes cause even the strongest man to fall back into old patterns of behavior. A moment of weakness might cause you to call your ex and proclaim your undying love for her or even want to see her again so you can tell her how much better you're feeling. Avoid this temptation at all cost. This is not the time to see your girlfriend and you should be strong and of sober mind when that moment does come. You need to have your life together completely before initiating contact with your ex. Get out of town or visit friends for a weekend. Go to the shore or to another city to allow yourself to unwind and decompress. This might help you to avoid the desire to see your ex also.
When you return home, it's time to start getting back into shape mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to start taking care of yourself and training for your big comeback. It's time to education yourself about relationships and how women behave in relationships. Look at this as your training to get back in there and win your ex girlfriend or wife back. Learn about her, what makes her tick and why she reacts the way that she does when she's in a relationship. Women behave much differently than men. They are emotional. Men are logical. Train that logical part of your brain to target her emotions and you will be well on your way to winning her back.
At this moment right now, you might still feel emotional and doubtful that she is every going to come back. That's fine. This is to be expected. You're still in an emotional state. Once you begin to feel better and you regain your self-confidence, you will understand that getting your girlfriend or wife to fall in love with you again isn't very difficult. If you are able to focus on her emotions while appearing strong and confident, she will fall in love with you again for sure. Remember that you're the man in the relationship and that she wants you to be the man. Avoid the temptation of letting your own emotions play a role in your decision making process and you will find that getting her back isn't very difficult at all.
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